July 16, 2024
Mile Marker: 690.1
Miles Hiked: 27
Sigh. I’m laying in our tent and I’m dreading writing about today. The tears have already started.
However, the goal of this blog is to keep it real and honest of the struggles and successes of a thru hike. Sometimes those struggles come from news back home.
I’m going to first start with the beginning of my day, that was as glorious of a morning as one could imagine.
We woke up chilly in the shade of the mountain and decided we would hike one mile to the peak and have breakfast with a view and some sunshine.
When we reached the top a little over 9,000 feet, we were both ecstatic, it was beautiful. Jaw dropping beautiful.
We ate our oatmeal and made cold brew coffee and hot chocolate and headed down the mountain.
Here we cruised up and down through the valley of stunning views of these gigantic mountains. We found ourselves stopping often to take pictures and soak it all in. The time was passing us by and the miles weren’t happening, but we were both okay with it. This was a morning where we needed to take our time, this is what would be ingrained in our memories.
We finally reached the last highest peak of the area and cruised downhill.
The valley afterwards felt vibrant and green. So drastically different than what we had been seeing.
Then after a few hours, Journey and I started to feel really tired. We weren’t sure if it was from the smoke or the climbs yesterday but we were tired.
We reached a lunch spot about 12 miles in and decided to set up the tent and nap. Journey is a better napper than I, so I fixed up my blisters and looked at the map for the day while Journey snored away.
After a longer lunch than usual, we continued on.
I was still feeling tired but felt relatively okay. It was later than normal and we had one little climb then the day would be more relaxed.
Once we got up on the climb a little after 3:30 I decided to turn on my phone to see if I had service, to my surprise I did.
I saw notifications come in and one caught my eye, it was from my brother Albert and it started with “Had to say goodbye…” I knew immediately what it was going to say and didn’t want to read the text.
I opened it and Albert let me know that he had to put his (our family’s) dog down, Nuke.
I let out an “Oh no”, put my phone away, told Journey the news, and started walking down the trail.
The trail very quickly became blurry as the tears welded up in my eyes. Oh I can’t.
Then they unleashed themselves and I was draining tears and snot continuously. As much as I wanted to sit on the side of the trail and sob, I also just wanted to keep moving. I wanted the pain in my heart to stop and I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone.
Nuke was special.
Special to me. Special to each of us in a unique way. It’s like he knew how to connect with all of us in the ways that we needed.
I’m having a hard time now writing this or even articulating how I’m feeling.
Nuke joined our family in 2011 adopted by David as a baby. He’s been around with David for a while then Albert for a while but all of us helped take care of him if needed.
We knew this was coming since he was going through chemo to help with cancer. His health was deteriorating, we knew this was coming. But my goodness it doesn’t make it any easier.
As I walked, I thought about Nuke and how after each of these adventures I went on, I always came back to live in Albert’s basement until I got the next part of life figured out. Every time I came back to Albert’s house, after the AT, after Peace Corps, after PCT, he would be at the door barking and howling before I even entered. When I would come in he would let out whines and curl continuously into my chest as I bent down next to him. We’d always spend a good while just curling into each other. I was always so excited to see him, He was my bestest boy.
The time period where Nuke sticks out the most to me was after Peace Corps. I was living at Albert’s and quite frankly I was a mess but I kept it to myself. But Nuke knew. I’d spend hours awake in the basement late at night crying or thinking about Ethiopia and he would curl up to me and look at me with those beautiful eyes as if to say, “it’s okay I got you.”
I spent countless hours curled up holding him as I fell asleep but really he was holding me. He knew how to keep me smiling and keep me moving. During those times I found it hard to sleep without him. If he hadn’t already come down, I’d yell out and hear his nails click on the steps down to the basement… my favorite sound, here he comes.
He is a small dog with a big personality. A lover of going outside on walks, runs, or rollerblading where he could go as fast as he wanted with me coming right behind him. An explorer and I was right along with him.
He would sit at the edge of the couch waiting to be called up to snuggle for a nap or snuggle to watch a film.
Pets are so special. Their connection to us is far too great. His ability to connect with each of us, far too great. Maybe he knew we needed a laugh and would do his timid you can’t see me walk into the kitchen, maybe he knew we needed a snuggle, maybe he knew we needed to get up out of the chair and moving so he’d beg to play or get outside or maybe he knew we just needed to be seen and he would come check in on us and how we were doing.
I spent a while just letting myself cry and after a couple hours, the tears subsided and I could reminisce on all our memories. I texted siblings on my inreach and found out further details.
It was his time, he was in great pain. I felt some relief knowing that he’s no longer in pain. I wondered if he will come visit me in my dreams.
I spent the rest of the day quiet in my head. I found myself thinking of other things and not wanting to cry anymore since I knew I would while writing this. What a bonding force he was for our family. What a unique animal that made everyone love him. He has been family for so long, always in all our pics.
We didn’t see many people today but when we arrived at camp, we noticed raspberry was here too.
Such a heavy heart.
Rest Easy Nuke. I love you and miss you. You will always be such a good boy.
Iz
Izzy + Ozzy 