Day 68: Uncertain

August, 21st, 2024

Mile Marker: 1461.7

Miles Hiked: 29

We started waking up around 6 AM and Journey lifted his tent vestibule up so we could watch the sunrise as we got ready. It was amazing as the clouds glowed red and orange as the sun rose.

We both packed quickly and sat at the picnic table for breakfast. I took my time and made oatmeal and coffee. We then started to roll out a little after 7 AM.

The sun was shining bright but there was a massive headwind that kept us nice and cool for the first couple of hours. We had about 6 miles on the pavement and then we would merge back with the CDT.

We came to a water source after 4 miles that was surrounded by cows and… Cow poop. We didn’t love the idea of drinking from it, but our options were slim today so we filled up. 🫣

It was cow central this morning, all staring at us as if we were aliens. We always wave and talk cute with the cows but they always give us the same stare.

We then turned onto a back gravel road for a while once back on the CDT.

We passed an old log cabin with some kind of truck inside. Not sure what it was used for but fun to imagine. We then had our second water source in front of the cabin. Two ponds surrounded by cows and cow poop again. Joy.

We decided we would fill up in case the creek down the road was dry. Then we continued on.

It was hot and we could see a storm brewing to our right. I was hopeful it would pass us as I really didn’t want to deal with rain today.

We were also struggling with making sure we were on trail since there wasn’t clear signs, although there are more CDT markers starting to show, they just aren’t abundant.

It gets tiring though. Not a clear trail, the worry about the thunderstorms, the worry about up coming altitude, some days this trail feels more like a job.

Journey and I reached the next creek that was actually flowing and both felt low, once again questioning why we are out here and neither of us having an answer. Then I got even lower. I started crying because the truth is, I’m not sure how much fun I am having. I miss home a whole dang lot. Would I regret leaving? Am I just out here for the title of a triple crowner?

Journey asked me what I enjoy about being out here. I mentioned my favorite parts being able to see the sunrises and sunsets. He added in the sound of the trees in the wind and how there are no loud vehicles or city sounds, I agreed.

I think the main issue for me doing this trail is the worry and anxiety that consumes me. On this trail I haven’t been able to hike with ease, I constantly think of the worst case scenario in everything, will being out here help my mental health or make it worse, I constantly question. Is going through my savings while being out here worth it, I constantly question. I appreciated Journey and his opposing perspectives but wished I didn’t feel so stuck.

We hugged it out and I continued on with a heavy heart and head. We eventually made it back into the trees and soft trail.

It was wild to turn around and see miles and miles of the basin we just walked through and look forward to the cluster of trees.

The trees provided comfort. The fresh smell of pine that candles try hard to replicate came through today. The trees are a blessing.

We had to climb up to 11,000 feet today and I felt relatively good but had to keep my mind in check as it likes to play games with me.

We noticed another storm in the distance but were hopeful it wasn’t coming our way.

We continued on and made camp about 2 miles away from a trailhead where we planned to meet Matt.

Matt reached out before I started the trail to let him know when we were close to his area. He was my boot camp instructor (fitness class) in Kansas but moved to Wyoming last year. We knew a hitch into Encampment was tough so we coordinated and the timing worked out perfectly for tomorrow morning. Yay!

We will get to sleep in tomorrow morning and take it easy into town.

We set up camp under some trees in case it rains and are hoping we won’t have a puddle underneath us.

We have good days and bad days. But I’ll wake up tomorrow, it’ll be a new day, and I’ll give it another shot.

Iz and Oz