Day 105: Learning To Be Alone

October 10th, 2024

Mile Marker: 2388

Miles Hiked: 23

We slept in this morning and rolled out of the hotel around 8:30. We grabbed breakfast at the Cuban Cafe before starting the day. I was hopeful for a cinnamon roll but they didn’t have any so I got some pancakes and eggs.

I felt a pit in my stomach eating breakfast. I felt so sad without Journey and more so wanted him with me experiencing what I was. I wanted to be experiencing this together.

I tried not to spiral as I knew I needed to be present if I was going to get this thing done.

We headed out around 10 and started out with a 7 mile road walk. My body instantly hated this. I was carrying 4 days of food and 3 liters of water for 15 miles. My feet hurt first and then my traps. Two weeks off trail, mostly sitting around, was not helpful. I felt like I lost all my hiker fitness and was starting from zero.

We turned off the road and headed down a sandy trail. I was in a totally different terrain than when we left Colorado. I found myself enjoying the new beauty, it reminded me a little of the PCT desert section.

It was stunning. A whole new beauty and chapter.

Around noon we really started to feel the heat. Thankfully there were plenty of spots to get shade. When we stopped for a break under a tree I immediately noticed how quiet it was. When we got off trail, this was the first thing I noticed, how noisy everywhere was, especially the airport. I felt like I could take a deep breath and bask in the quietness.

We arrived at our only water source around 3 PM and were so lucky it was still trickling. It was a light trickle but if we stepped on the black tube it would pour a little more. We ate snacks then filled up another 3ish liters for the rest of the day. Our next water source wasn’t for another 15 miles and we would not be doing 30 miles today.

I spent the first part of the day hiking with Whatever and then after we reached our only water source, ended up by myself afterwards. Aster was ahead, then me, then Whatever, and Twilight behind.

It felt weird hiking alone but I tried to find my peace. I’ve realized I haven’t liked being alone like I used to, almost like I don’t trust myself to handle myself.

I put in some techno music and cruised along. I was okay, this was okay, I didn’t need to worry.

I found the bottom of my butt and upper hamstrings to be pulling tight and almost causing me to jolt from pain every so often. Two weeks of no hiking was just long enough to lose some of my hiker fitness and I could tell.

Eventually the sun started to set and I could feel the nerves creep in, I didn’t want to hike in the dark by myself but I also knew I didn’t have too much more until our campsite to meet Aster.

I turned on my cell service and was thrilled when I had a bar and talked on the phone with Journey for a little while hiking. It felt good to hear his voice. I did everything I could to not tear up and remain strong.

I arrived at camp close to Aster and we looked around for a while until we found a spot to cowboy camp.

If you don’t remember, cowboy camping is sleeping out in the open on your sleeping pad without your tent up.

I felt nervous about being separated from everyone and thankfully Aster could sense it as she asked if I wanted her and Whatever next to me and me in the middle. I was thrilled because this is exactly what I wanted. At least just for tonight.

So we set up our pads, ate dinner, and then Twilight hollered out to us to look at the sky. An aurora was showing.

It was breathtaking and I took it as a sign. Maybe I was supposed to be here after all.

I still feel a bit nervous cowboy camping with all the creepy crawlies but just like the PCT, I know eventually I’ll get used to it.

Hopefully I’ll sleep.

Goodnight!

Iz and Oz